Everyone loves drama! We go to the theater. We watch Ministers beat each other bloody in “Fight Church,” the real-life documentary of churches that have a mixed-martial arts practice. And of course, we can’t resist watching YouTube channels where sweet, adorable kittens duke it out over a stuffed mouse.
But most of us don’t want drama in our professional lives. And yet, we use the internet. The internet lets us communicate in 10,000 different ways. So coordinating and negotiating anything takes a billion more steps. Then when a negotiation gets dropped, or delivered to the wrong inbox, or accidentally BCC’d to the entire company (leading your boss to ask, at the next status meeting, “What is a ball gag, anyway?”), drama arises! One person ends up knowing something that another doesn’t. One person shows up on time, snow shoes and flamethrower in hand, while their teammate is at home watching Netflix, having missed the calendar invite. Chaos ensues. And we don’t want chaos. Trust me.
Tame the chaos! Be deliberate with your communication with your colleagues and friends.
Choose a Communication Platform They Use
It’s easy to blast someone on every social media platform they inhabit until you get the response you want. But that takes time, and then you risk them getting the message on different platforms many months apart. The last thing you need is having them show up with their flamethrower on the wrong day.
Pick the right social channel by identifying what’s most convenient for you and the other person. Then stick to that channel with that person.
Don’t send your two-year-old niece a birthday message on LinkedIn. She wouldn’t get it, because she’d be too busy reading articles on creating corporate culture. And don’t send your boss an important proposal on Instagram, because then your boss would see pictures of what a ball gag actually is.
When you start working with someone, ask for their preferred communication channel. Everyone’s different.
Bernice has offered to dog sit her neighbor Boba’s teacup poodle. The poodle’s name is, of course, Salacious Crumb. She needed to coordinate the pup’s drop off.
“Dear Boba,” she began her note, “I’m very excited to meet darling little Crumb. The Goddess loves little poodles. If I need to reach you due to an unexpected emergency, what is the best way to do so?” Boba responds that a text message is best for emergencies. Now Bernice knows that if little Crumb accidentally falls into a well or has a run-in with an Audrey II, Boba is just a text away.
Using the Channel the Right Way
Knowing the preferred channel isn’t enough. You also need to know how to use it. People often use a mix of channels.
Boba told Bernice to use phone calls for emergencies, but email for puppy pickup and drop-off. Boba only checks email twice a day, but texts get pushed right to the readout on his helmet visor, which he has no chance of missing.
Other people may want communication such as Snapchat, with voice. Or as Instagram with a comment. Or as Whisper, with a secret hashtag. Or as a calendar invite. Or as a link to an article. Or as an article cut-and-pasted. Or as a smoke signal from the top of a mountain.
Know Your Objective
When you’re ready to communicate, know your objective: what is the end result you’re looking for? If you’re talking with a friend, sure, be as chatty as you want. But for anyone else, don’t be chatty. Be targeted and concise.
If they get the message late, they’ll be able to figure out that your tomorrow is now their yesterday. If Bernice wants to know when to pick up and drop off little Salacious Crumb, she would do best to write exactly that, “Boba, please let me know exactly when you want me to pick up and drop off little Salacious. Thank you very much, Bernice.” If it sounds short and simple, that’s because it is.
The only possible danger is sounding too abrupt
The only possible danger is sounding too abrupt. If needed, soften the message. Open by making it explicit that you’re being brief as a favor. “Dear Boba, I’m keeping this short so you can respond quickly. I need to know when to pick up and drop off little Salacious. Thank you so much!”
Be Specific
The person reading isn’t necessarily thinking about the conversation when they get your reply. So avoid pronouns. If you write, “I’ll bring it myself,” you may know what “it” is, but they may not. After all, they may be juggling multiple conversations on their end. You think “it” refers to a tasty picnic lunch. They’re in a conversation where “it” is a ball gag. Be explicit: “I’ll bring the picnic lunch myself.” You’ll avoid all kinds of awkwardness.
This also applies to dates. Don’t say “tomorrow” or “next week,” since they may have no idea which dates you’re referring to. If you send a message saying “Do you have free time tomorrow?” and the recipient reads the message tomorrow, then they’ll think you mean the day after tomorrow, which is tomorrow’s tomorrow, not today’s tomorrow.
Instead, say, “Do you have free time tomorrow, Thursday the 9th?” If they get the message late, they’ll be able to figure out that your tomorrow is now their yesterday, and they’ll have to find another time to meet.
Avoid the drama by streamlining your communication. Know what each person’s preferred communication channel is, and use it. Know their protocols around when to use which channel. Keep your message tightly tied to your objective. And be specific. Tune in next week for another great episode! No matter when you’re listening, tune in next week.
This is Stever Robbins. Follow GetItDoneGuy on Twitter and Facebook. I run webinars and other programs to help people be Extraordinarily Productive, and build extraordinary careers. If you want to know more, visit SteverRobbins.com/
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!